What did someone say to you that instantly made you realize their life was in danger?
10.06.2025 04:23
On his 37th birthday he was deployed to Afghanistan. He was an Engineer and he was THRIVING! He had finally found his niche! He loved every minute of his deployment, he was in the best shape of his life and climbing rank as fast as they could promote him.
In the meantime it was presented that he needed a chest tube to save his life or, since he was terminal, they could decide to pull the tube and let him die. He had eloped before his deployment — he was married to a very much younger woman who was not ready for the cancer and the huge responsibility he became.
He was then sent Stateside for surgery, to San Antonio, I was married to a soldier at the time and, by the grace of God, my brother and husband at the time were both stationed at Ft. Hood so we were able to easily get to him in San Antonio.
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Towards the end of the deployment, a month shy of his homecoming and his 38th birthday, he started feeling odd. Headaches and dizzy, just off. It was chalked up to PTSD until it could not be overlooked any longer. His symptoms escalated, he had projectile vomiting and almost black-out spells. They sent him to Germany and there they found a golfball sized tumor in his brain.
NOW fast-forward from December 2010 to January 2012. He slowly declined but not nearly what we were told would happen. My brother was a FIGHTER, a strong-willed, stubborn, fighter! He was so amazing,
He lived until March 22, 2012. He passed at 1:40 am with myself, my parents and probably 20 friends all around him. That last month was AMAZING. He saw so many friends from high school, coaches, of course family. He was so precious! He didn’t seem to suffer at ALL. I guess the irony of his condition was he didn’t know he was terminally ill.
I have heard of people with these tumors that became belligerent and hateful. Not him! He was a 6’2”, 300 lb. (steroids) teddy bear! He LOVED his kid sister; we are only 22 months apart LOL. His kid sister that he used to not be able to stand! I became his nurse. I had always wanted to be a nurse; I think this is why God put that in me. Anyway I spent many days and nights with him as we lived so close.
At this point my dad has called our pastor back home and there were 6 people around his bed his rubbing arms and legs. And plain as day God said, “Say something.” I argued (I know! Who argues with God?). And he said “If you do it, what’s the worst that will happen?” I mouthed to his wife, “Does he understand?” She shook her head “yes” and rubbed his hand. I asked his friend the same question. “Yes.”
I took my brother’s chin and gently turned it to me as he was intubated. I said, “Brother, they are going to take this tube out of your mouth and you’re going to die!”
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He had surgery, the longest cranium surgery at the hospital to date … (my brother did NOTHING small!). He was diagnosed with GBM, a cancerous, 100% fatal, brain tumor. He was given 5 months to live.
Oh mah GEEZ now I have to say something. I asked the doc if I could explain this to him he said “Sure.”
This man loved food!! LOL So they did not kill him. It was now February. He left the hospital on meds to keep him alive as long as possible.
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Now this is where I walk in. I get to the hospital and mom is about to pass out and she tells me he’s done fighting. BS! I storm to the room and the doctor was there explaining everything.
I’m going to include some of his deployment pictures — he’s a strikingly handsome man!
I miss that man like CRAZY! I will also say I can not IMAGINE going through this life without that last month with him! He was funny, he got his IHOP and we all got closure. Including him.
Now mind you, my brother has a brain tumor; he’s on the drug fentanyl and frankly not really in the mood to listen to the doctor. Doctor explains how they are going to take the tube out and give him morphine and, right then and there, he quit listening. I know he did. He heard “morphine,” he was like “Yup!” Then it was explained how he would pass away.
Back story: my brother was 38 years old, he had joined the Army at the age of 36 after a long battle with an opioid addiction (this plays into the story later). He had lost everything and decided he would enlist as it had been a dream of his since he was a little boy. Seeing as he had nothing to lose he went for it. He had not accomplished much to date so we were very happy for him!
He buckled his eyebrows at me. I said, “Why do you think dad called the pastor? That’s why everyone is here.”
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So in December he had developed a lung infection. It was not good at all! He knew he wanted to die in our childhood home in Kansas, and it was not looking good for him to make it but of course he fought and HARD. As I said before, my brother did NOTHING small. He became a news story back home: “Dying soldier needing to get from Texas to Kansas via medical transport.” Our community was amazing! They had all but gotten him on the plane and bless him he developed a clot so he couldn’t fly.
Then that precious man kicked me out. So his wife then explained everything again and he wrote, “ I don’t want to die!” “I can fight.” (UH DUH!!!!) and the most powerful thing of all: “IHOP!”
As my mom was passing out my dad was holding her up against the wall at the hospital, my mom breathed out, “He wants the tube out he’s going to die.”
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